No release

I'm playing a game with Isis. Well, I guess it's more like an
experiment. The rules are quite simple: I get to play with myself as
much as I want; I just don't get to cum. This has been the state of
affairs for over 3 weeks now, and I don't know for how long it will
continue. Actually, this is not entirely true. It seems that a part of
me does know, the only thing is this part isn't accessible to me outside
of trance.

This isn't the first time Isis has encouraged me to go for a while
without any release. As a build-up to our meeting in Januray, the two
weeks prior was absolutely cum-free. But that was a lot different, as
travelling to the US and attending business seminars made the days just
fly by. Three regular weeks, however, seems a looot longer.

It's been good. But it's been hard. No pun intended. Honest. Some nights
I've been so aroused that it's taken quite some time to find the peace
and quiet necessary for falling asleep. Not that I'm getting sleep deprived,
it just take some time winding down, y'know ;) Cuz the arousal is deeper
and more intense than anything I've ever experienced. It's like all my
senses get slammed into hyperdrive, and I get bombarded with ecstatic
feelings of pleasure and desire. It feels good, it feels reeeal good,
but still, I'm left wanting, needing, craving.

Isis, being the sweet and caring person she is, has been offering to
make the experience easier for me. Some part of me would love to accept
her offer, but for some reason this just feels wrong. Something about no
pain, no gain or some other stupid macho nonsense.